Human Research

This morning I woke up early to take a bus to a city just outside of Harbin to a supermarket to do surveys. As I was putting on my layers of clothes to go out in the negative degree weather, I quickly checked my email. I had what seemed to be a serious email from the Colorado Office of Research with the Subject = Research Ethics Investigation.

Anyone at any US university doing research with human subjects needs to go through a series of steps with the university's designated Human Research office to prove that we have thought through our research and will not put anyone at risk by doing so. Ethics investigation is not something anyone wants to hear.

So this morning I am getting dressed, drinking coffee, writing down the address of the place I need to go, skimming email, and checking the clock because I need to be out the door in two minutes. In the midst, I find this email:

"Dear Ms. Zader,

"The Office of the Research Subjects Ombudsman at the University of Colorado has been contacted by Mr. Zhong Yang Miao concerning the ethical standards of your research procedures. Mr. Zhong, a farmer from Heilongjiang province, has alleged that following an interview with your or your confederates, during which he revealed the use of melamine in growing "Northeastern Name-Brand Big Rice," this information appeared in the Chinese Newsource Xinhua. The revelation of this information damaged not only Mr. Zhong's reputation, but also the "Northeastern Famous-Brand Big Rice" brand name. Mr. Zhong is further imperilled by possible legal actions by Heilongjiang authorities. Clearly the revelation of this information to Xinhua consitutes a serious breach of research ethics, and Mr. Zhong is contemplating legal action against the University of Colorado.

"Accordingly the The Office of the Research Subjects Ombudsman at the University of Colorado has opened an investigation to examine whether confidentiality was breached in your research procedures. As a first step in this process, we ask that you please email our office copies of your IRB proposal. Of particular interest to us is the confidentiality statement which you have provided to your research subjects in Chinese."

As I skimmed this email, my heart was pounding and I was thinking "what are they talking about?" I had no idea who these people were, but in my state of rushed email skimming, it sounded serious. For a second, I really thought I had been framed, but I had no idea who would know to contact this office. Someone had to know my research well enough to write this.

Then I figured it out. It was a joke played on me by my friend Afton. He actually wanted to read my proposal and thought this was a funny way to ask for it. He changed his email address to say it was from the CU Office of Research. Cute, Afton. Way to scare me at an early hour on a Saturday. And then make me laugh at myself because I know I need to improve my email-skimming abilities (the Ombudsman in the first line should have given it away to me...).